Today was one of those days of waking up overwhelmed.
You know this feeling?
When everything attacks you.
Everything is threatening.
Everything is annoying.
Everyone is really annoying.
Nothing makes sense!
I was so tired and all I wanted was just a few moments of being alone and Instead I had my daughter Olive banging every book that was next to the bed in my head and then came all the rest of the morning ‘festival’ of taking the kids out of home whilst thinking about what the hell I am going to do today.
So with this feeling I decided to make a video (I committed to do 2-3 a week this month… talk about overwhelming…) that would serve others who might find themselves in the same state.
What a stupid idea!
I did a few takes but none of them worked. I didn’t really want to show myself on camera so I was just filming the view from my balcony while I was talking. After 3 tries and some failures of the camera I got the point. How can I lie to myself and others by talking about coming out of something I am not letting go of myself?
So I decided to write down a few things that would help me come out of my ‘mind masturbation’ mode and I am now writing this post after doing ALL of them.
– SKIPPING ROPE – Yes. This is what I do on a daily basis now on the balcony. Doing it just for a few minutes helps me get back to clarity. What everyone says about using our body to create a change in the mind works!! I know that skipping is not for everyone but you can find your thing. Run, walk, sing, dance. Whatever makes you reconnect with your spirit.
– DEDICATE TIME TO MYSELF – After everyone was gone (such a beautiful moment…) I spent some time with myself. With no one around. Call it introvert or whatever you want. I need that. Many describe it as recharging the batteries and I can very much relate to that.
– APOLOGIZE – That was the hardest bit. Why is it so hard for us to say that we are sorry when we fuck up?! Yes. I fucked up today. I let my ‘mind masturbation’ effect the way I was with Wins and the kids. I was ‘enjoying’ my misery of the little ‘3rd world war’ that I have created for myself in my mind and anything that was said or done annoyed me. My way of dealing with it is being silent but i know well that my silence in those moments is the noisiest one in the world. So I came to Wins and said that I was sorry. And we kissed. And we hugged. In one second the 3rd world war disappeared from the door step of my mind. (That made me wonder how many other wars could be prevented if people and countries would have the courage to say sorry more often.)
DO SOMETHING UNUSUAL – I booked a nice treatment for both Wins and myself. There are all the excuses that come up all the time – no money, no time, no need. Bullshit. We are going to have fun and we are going to get relaxed (hopefully). And it will make us nice. And nice people make a better world.
That’s it. It’s a post today, not a video. But who cares? I am back on track and I am going to do some good stuff.
What about you?
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