Photo by Tony Birch

Live Your Life With No Regrets 

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A few years ago I decided to make a shift in my career. And no, I wasn’t doing a shitty 9-5 job that I hated, I was and still am a drummer.- a successful one. I have been touring for many years all over the world with world-renowned choreographers Hofesh Shechter and Akram Khan. I am actually writing this article now in Montreal whilst on tour with Akram Khan’s show Until The Lions

It probably sounds amazing and it actually is. But at some point I began noticing that the satisfaction that I got from being a musician was no longer from the inside out. It became more about the approval that I received from people.  Everyone looks at you as the coolest guy when you say that you are a drummer, touring around the world, performing in big theatres… My ego loved it, but I felt that THERE WAS SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAT I SHOULD BE DOING WITH MY LIFE. It was time for transformation.

I began listening to my inner voice to help me find what I was missing. I asked myself what were the things that I truly connected with in my career. Surprisingly, I discovered that it wasn’t the big performances, or the big stages or the touring, or being in the press. These bits were and still are lots of fun but THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE DEPTH I WAS LOOKING FOR.  

The moments that did stick in my mind were those magical moments when I had a DEEP CONNECTION WITH SOMEONE.   It was those intimate moments with the audience or students that discovered something deep and meaningful about themselves. It was receiving a message like the one I got after a workshop from someone saying – ‘THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ME BACK TO MYSELF’. 

I noticed that none of that was related to music which was a bit confusing at first, but slowly I discovered new ways to connect with people and to help bring people back to themselves. I now do this through workshops, 1 on 1 work and other activities which are all about CONNECTING FROM THE INSIDE OUT.  

Why inside out? Because that’s the only way to live a fulfilled life without regrets. 

Living life without regrets is what we should aim for.

Life will kick us in the ass, but it is our choice whether we smile or collapse.

The choice comes in every moment we breathe.

What are you choosing now? 

 

I feel very fortunate at having had the support of my parents with my crazy choice of career of being a drummer. This career gave me a lot of freedom to live from the heart.

My motto is:

LEAD WITH YOUR HEART AND LET YOUR HEAD FOLLOW, INSTEAD OF LEADING WITH THE HEAD LIVING A LIFE OF REGRET IN YOUR HEART.

 

Unfortunately, I see many people, especially men living the other way around, being constantly IN THEIR HEADS and that leads to a lot of suffering. This is why I decided to focus my work on helping men RECONNECT to their hearts. I help them see that they can ENJOY more fully the life that for them seems TOO SERIOUS. I encourage men to love what they do and do what they love. We find ways to stop repressing those emotions that have been STUCK in our bodies for so long. Because once these emotions can be expressed FREELY, men can experience a true sensation of FREEDOM. And then their RELATIONSHIPS go to the next level and so do their sex lives.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are many pains and challenges on the path. It’s not an easy journey, but facing those challenges and pains with peace in the heart is by far a much more beautiful and organic experience than trying to avoid those pains and challenges and LIVING IN A LIE. Living in a lie hurts! You probably know it either from your present life or hopefully because of your past. I felt it myself for many years and it can be felt by others who still choose to live like that.

Just like drumming or even more so, I really love the work that I do with the people that give me the honour to lead them back into themselves. In this work the phrase ‘It so nice to see YOU’ has a whole new meaning. 

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