What we want more than anything is to love and be loved, and being in a relationship is the best way to play this game on a regular basis.
But in reality our relationships often become a battlefield where all the habits and wounds that we bring with us from our past clash with those of the other person. So instead of loving unconditionally we hold back, and the relationships that have the potential to be a place of love, joy and freedom, often become a place of anger, resentment, frustration, disgust and doubt.
We end up doing many things that we don’t want to do:
- We pretend to the world that everything is ok in our relationship while we actually repress our emotions and feel like shit inside.
- We make our relationship look good to the world on our Facebook/Instagram/etc pictures and in our beautiful homes but none of that fills the emptiness that we feel inside.
- We bring kids into this battlefield with the hope that they will make things better and it doesn’t work.
- We try to do everything we can again and again to make the other person understand that it is their fault that things are not working but they don’t seem to get it.
Relationship can be hard but when both sides are willing to show up and stay open there are small things that can be done to recreate the relationship as the place of the game of love again.
So here you have some simple tools that you can use that will make a huge impact on your relationship. It is fascinating to think that most people who are in a relationship don’t do these very simple things on a regular basis. If you are in a relationship try them for a few weeks and see if you notice any difference:
- Tell your partner that you love him/her and make sure you mean it and that it comes from your heart (If you don’t mean it so why are you still in the relationship?)
- Spend every day a few minutes looking into your partner’s eyes (without talking)
- Tell your partner how you want to be touched
- Tell your partner how you don’t want to be touched
- Ask you partner how he/she wants to be touched
- Ask your partner how he/she doesn’t want to be touched
- Allow your partner to share her/his pain without any judgment from your side…just listen…there is a reason why they tell you that…
- Keep your heart and mind open when your partner shares something with you.
Enjoy the game.